The issue of working mom VS stay-at-home mom has its place for years. People tend to drag the issue according to their own point of view and condition. And that’s what I am going to do through this post (hopefully not to drag it too long!)
Growing up as a child with a working mom has taught me a lot of lessons. Whenever I finished school, one of my mom’s employee would pick me up from school and walked to me to our family’s shop. She used to help my dad with his clothing shop back then when I was very young. I would just find my spot, had my lunch and did my homework. If I had to go home directly from school (happened when my twin brothers started going to school), the first thing I would ask was, Where is Mama? I would call her from home and shared everything that happened with me at school, especially my mark of that day. Sometimes, in the evening, I would make myself sick (I was so good at pretending) and asked for my mom to come home. I always love the moments when she accompanied me and shared her stories.
Later when I was older, I just realized that my mom was actually living in both worlds. She woke up the earliest, went to traditional market, cook the meals for everyone in the house (3 times of meals for God-knows how many people in the house), help my dad at his shops, taking care of her children and still had time for compulsory meeting in the neighborhood. Even when she was heavily pregnant with my twin brothers, she still went to the market by herself everyday.
The lessons that I learned from my mom was clear, that we can do things that we think as impossible. We do have the capacity to endure the process – as long as we want to grow from it. I started to do almost the same role when I got married. I am working in multiple places, shop and cook for my husband, involve in local psychological community and pushing myself for casual catch-ups with my close friends. Sometimes I feel like I want to drop everything and just go for a very long sleep for the whole day. But things need to be done.
Now, as a mom myself, I could say the pressure is still on – even heavier now. I have to fight for my own anxiety to leave my son at home. It might be that I have a kind of separation anxiety, but who doesn’t? He’s only 3 months old. But I consider myself blessed, for I can work at certain times only and have no pressure of doing office-hour kind of work. Certainly I left some privileges behind – but I have no regrets.
Let’s drop the issue of working mom VS stay-at-home mom and enjoy motherhood at its best!